One of the biggest signs your ex regrets dumping you is that you will see a change in his actions and not just empty promises of being better. "I miss the way he would take care of me and be there for me" That's because you're only good at sex, you own him everything. How do I know she didnt do all this before leaving? I think as another said I deeply regret that I have to separate.It would be best for dc if I could stay with H but it's not possible, the marriage is unhealthy and H isn't interested in any resolution only blaming me. Men are called dirty old men, we need a word for a dirty old women, selfish, self Centered, how on earth does a women want their husband back after destroying a family getting some new action? You will need to be strong as you break old habits. When a woman discoversthe courage to end an unhealthy and unhappy marriage, the world breaks open before her feet with endless opportunities. You cant change the past. Do you ever think about other people's feelings? It is neither. Feelings always lie to us. I miss the way he would take care of me and be there for me. I actually started a company in another state just to put distance between us, and I would travel back and forth. And HE is the bad guy?" Katie This is such an amazing and touching story. Thank you! I Left My Husband Because Of Another Man. Were Separated And I wasnt happier for having told her, but I wasnt any worse off. I was fighting depression alone, now raising chi.. There is likely more truth to my words than you think! During our divorce, the DNA proved two of my three children were not my ex's biological sons. There is no sense staying in an unhappy relationship! I could be wrong regarding your friend because every situation is different and I dont know all the details! You made your bed now lay in it. I loved my husband, but I went through a stage where I felt he'd been neglecting me and was taking me for granted. If nothing changes, then leave! My marriage has remained intact, though its still a work in progress, and my spouse has tried to forgive me. What Is Cheaters Karma And Does It Work On Cheaters? To be a better person is to sacrifice your needs and have compassion for those you wronged. I learned that honesty isultimately the best policy for everyoneinvolved. The only thing YOU regret is that you don't have "Beta Bucks" husband anymore. The only regret I have is the impact the divorce will have on my children. The people that I had outgrown inevitably fell away. Decisions should be made from understanding not emotions. My opinion is that you convinced yourself unhappiness surrounded your life and created justifications to explain why, blaming your marriage! Then, I met someone, and we hit it off immediately. I stated many of the lessons of faith and philosophy are great guidance for life because they instruct us to make rational & wise choices opposed to emotional ones. Six months since I left him for another man. A few years later, when they were getting a divorce, she told him with the intention of hurting him. Now, eight months later, we are right back where we were. Kids; Quick answerNO! Her kids certainly, but if she Loved her husband, at any point, she would not have walked away! If a partner doesnt reciprocate these efforts, then there is no point to suffering an unhappy life! Last fall, I started an affair with my boss. I finally got so lonely and down on myself that I started chatting with people online. Starting a live-in relationship with your boss while you were still married was a really dumb move. This has been one of the worst stories I've read, you are a disgusting horrible person and you deserve all of the pain you're getting because it's a drop in the ocean compared to how you broke your husband's heart. Its the lies that destroy people and then to take away that one last part of them that they have a connection with is worse than the actual lies. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, myhouse,and my marriage the worldinitially seemed so shaky and unstable. "I regret not being brave enough to ask for the end of my marriage in a way that honored my integrity. She she.. WebLeaving him is turning into my biggest regret. I told him how I felt, and he felt the same. Wrong or right, most are going to make their lives work. 6 Reasons People Regret Ending Relationships Too Soon I wasn't thinking I hadn't had sex like that in years and he made me feel sexy and alive. I can blame it on being away from my wife for months, being emotionally and sexually starved. ", "I felt unattractive for a few years. When I decidedto leave my husband, I chose to embark uponthe most difficult journey possible. I will never repeat that same mistake. I had three children, whom I truly believed were my husband's. I friended him, and I was immediately flooded with the feelings I had for him when we were teens. Theres no such thing as a perfect couple. Living in this hell for 2 months. In some ways, it's better because Im not sure Im cut out for marriage. I tried as soon as I left his office I couldnt control it. I also cheated on my husband. I wish this was just a bad dream and I could wake up in my ex husbands arms and tell me That every thing was alright. I appreciate you in that you have chosen to reveal unlike many selfish crooks who backstab their partners and shamelessly stay with their partners without informing them like cowards and crooks or like worms in the stool fearing the consequences, In any relationship it is as simple as that do what you can be honest to your partner but if you do anything wrong reveal and face the consequences. I cheated and regret it, is a common afterthought among couples who are processing the consequences of their actions. I was devastated. She had left the ems field for a 8 to 5 job. What kind of sick female are you .you need some kind of payback for you damaging behavior. 03/11/2016 20:33. But, I finally learn how much do I love him. I will never enter another relationship again. Infidelity is complicated on the one hand Some will comfort you emotionally, many will judge, and some will help you out financially." They allotted time each day to communicate with each other, making plans, setting goals, discussing the future, & working hard on their connection & intimacy. It was exciting and fun until I slipped up and was caught. It was time to stop being a coward and own up. I enjoy being myself around her. The online affair was the best thing to happen to me. My OPINION (so I could be wrong), based on my 30 years of counseling, is that your friend is justifying & glorifying her ability to wake up and admit to herself she was not happy. Emboldened by this realization, she told herself there is so much more to life! and there is! I am talked about who she was and what is likely in the future, not about who she is now. I tried to talk to him after all this happend but he turned me away. Drug addict or alcoholic ? No one is going to be happy all the time within a marriage because there are more important pieces to a marriage than Love, yet Love is why we focus on these other pieceschildren, foundations, financial freedom etc! The only men willing to be responsible for that is the husband and you lost him. Eventually your ex will not be paying child support, will not be paying alimony, and you will be living in some trailer somewhere. ABSOLUTELY NOT! I hope I have a chance to love him and be there for him for the rest of my life. "acceptedAnswer": { I dont wish to go into the details. The lessons are the same! Thank you so much for sharing your story and your personal strength. We texted at first, and it was a few weeks before we met in person, but it was everything I had missed with my wife. That was 10 years ago. We are given this guidance, thankfully, so we can avoid making the same mistakes as our ancestors. ", "When I left my spouse for the man I had an affair with, my son didn't talk to me for two years. Rating: +99|-86, When I met my husband he was the nicest person in the world to me. It definitely is not worth it. He's become a massive source of support for the problems I'm having with my husband, and I'm the same for him with his wife. ", "I ended up getting a divorce. When you end a bad marriage, you set yourself free of all the troubles you faced in your relationship. She thought she had tried everything to make her marriage work. Her husband has remarried and from all outward appearances is enjoying his life with his new wife. You have to be the biggest slut in history. In this case, I think it was the wrong choice and if not, she acted far too soon. We married for 15 years and have 2 wonderful children together. Have you ever regretted leaving your husband Again, it is unlikely a person would write an article discussing the past, in this way, unless the past is still entwined with their current existence. So your past 50 and left your husband whom you swore till death do us part Did he commit adultery or beat you ? Any advice. Life is never perfect and as humans we can't be perfect either. I regret cheating because those two months were the most agonizing days of my life. I Think it is important to add that our emotions deceive us, or in other words, our hearts are evil upon adulthood. She is a nurse and has worked in many settings. Stacey confided that her previous boyfriends had always accused her of cheating. I dont regret leaving a man who devalued me. Almost a year later, Im dating a man who sexually satisfies me and truly cares about my happiness. I know this author personally and Im happy to report that 4 years after her divorce, she is happy and content with her life. When you analyze yourself and find the areas of focus you need to patch. "name": "Should I be honest about being unhappy in my marriage? Despite all this you recently had a year-long affair (that he found out about) and now he wants a divorce. I also lied to my mistress, hurting both her and her young kids. This story is not believable. My work in the merchant navy takes me to various corners of the world, as does her job as a documentary film producer. After a divorce, everyone will eventually overcome, build a new life, and attempt to find happiness. I have no doubt your friend felt unhappy, but this is not the question. "@type": "Question", No romance, no intimacy, and just in it for the kids. My husband loved me and be there for me in the past 15 years. Who wants an old bitch with 2 kids? Either way, you really need to work on being less self involved. My wife and I barely spoke, never had sex, and barely even touched each other. I plowed a girl like you, but she was married to a stud. How many people have you slept with in your life?? I can only hope that someday before I die, the most honest and kind woman in the world will be able to once again believe me when I say, 'I love you. This is absolutely the worst thing that could happen to anyone so asking for sympathy is the last thing you should be doing. So what if after 4 years of marriage, my wife and I had spent barely a year together? However, she was also all emotion and wasnt rationally thinking about the consequences of her choices to come. Threw away a person who valued you for a fantasy. You need your brain looked at and your husband deserves to be with someone who loves him unconditionally! Cant Get Your Ex Out Of Your Head? What does it take to stop running into these types of people? You can not change history and all your wrong doings will haunt you forever. We fail to communicate. registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without My partner also left his wife; his daughter blamed me for years for being a home-wrecker. It cost me the respect of my children, who, 10 years later, are just starting to trust me again. Now its too late. I am left all alone in a home I purchased for my family and I wake up every morning fighting through tears just to get myself out of bed because of the emotional condition my wife left me in. The affair cost me trust and love, and it caused the destruction of my marriage. Others made the choice to narrowly squeak in a welfare check. If a person is unhappy within their relationship but they choose not to share their emotions and how they feel with their partner until the prospect of divorce becomes inevitable, the problem is the role of ones mind and ones ability to think for themselves. Truth is the foundation of a relationship and the virtues which comprise Love! That in itself is sad. In reading the above, it appears she was truthful with herself, decided she was not happy in her marriage, set off to find happiness (usually a bad idea), and set her husband free to explore the same. All rights reserved. Sucks don't it? If she would have done this before leaving, I doubt I would be replying to this article in the present! more than likely she will be the one spending the rest of her days alone and heartbroken because of the devastation she created. Having a THREE YEAR affair with another person is NOT a mistake, it is your character. "name": "What happens when you end a bad marriage? I know your regrets and your guilt for hurting such an innocent person. It does not mean to follow our guts! Lover boy bounced when he had to take responsibility so now your alllllll alone. If he's resilient he'll get a better man and that's the best gift you could ever give him. I don't think the kids would have taken it well. Add adultery to the mix, which doesnt apply in this case, and you get an obscured reality and a clouded mind, bot of which makes accurate reflection on the past difficult, thus influencing a persons ability to learn! ", "Worst. However, she made this decision without being truly vulnerable! We are still married and trying to work through it, but its been a struggle. Women have needs, and sometimes the person we are married to cannot fulfill them. The good was I got out of an unhappy marriage and found a person who values me and has become my best friend. I failed at my marriage, I failed my wife and I failed myself. When I took the NY job, I was supposed to come home every other weekend, but I was only making it home every 68 weeks. I had an affair with another man for 12 years. I say: "So, he's a bad guy, but you had four kids with him, he works crazy hours while you stay at home and do nothing, you live in a 4000 sq ft house, he bought YOU a new car while he drives his old truck. I am responding to a 2 years old posting. I gave her my heart and she jumped up and down on it, spat on it and stabbed it. It seemed as though my life was spinning out of control. You also cant change the future you will now face from the choices you've made.